The Poems

When I Came With You (Revisited)

It was here one night
among white blossoms and junipers
that we lay touching
while the rest of the world
snored in their small beds

We breathed frost words to breezes on branches
breathing deeply in the deep woods
with no earthly destination
hidden behind the pulse of dawn
throbbing on a trigger’s touch

You were delicate incense I lit alone

In silence
my fingers found the sweep of stars on bare skin—
a house-warmth murmur of Christmas gold when you breathed

You were a bird
whose only cry came in color in the company of starlight
whistling up the violets
in a garden wilderness of dawn’s yellow daylight
flowering into streaming pinks
and fleshed with rose petals when I came with you

Photo Credit:
 Meireles Neto




Fires In Ashbarrels, The Poems

Young Love

Fires In Ashbarrels, The Poems


She rode her motorcycle’s heat
between her legs from an engine
like constant thunder.

The frame and the ride were hot.

She shivered like a dangling shoe on the end of a naked foot.
She pointed her knees at men she found interesting.
The exposure to the frisky wind
and throbbing engine
were like a million hands fondling her thighs.

She never walked the same again.



Lola's Writing, My Tangerine Days

Computers And Masturbation

In conjunction with May being Masturbation Month, I share with you this little known fact about myself.

I discovered the computer world when I turned 9 in November of 1989. It was during my birthday that I overheard an uncle talk about his computer and the World Wide Web. Earlier that year, some science guy named Tim Berners-Lee at CERN, the European Particle Physics Laboratory in Switzerland, invented a way for computer geeks like my uncle to share information to other computer geeks like my uncle. He was the oddball relative (think of the Big Bang TV show) who was quiet, never married, and always had a faraway look in his eyes, more so when he was at his computers or with his geeky friends. His “crew” was mostly scientists and mathematicians, and many of them went on to become celebrated for writing and developing GUI versions of the Web for emerging browsers.

At the time, I had no idea what any of this meant and I wasn’t sure what a computer really was until my uncle gave us his ’85 Commodore Amiga. It had a single 880 KB 3.5-inch disk drive and 256 KB of RAM, which meant little to me, but it made him grin and lose that faraway lost-in-space look. Happily, he wrote programs and set up math problems for me to solve. And he showed me how to write my own programs. I was probably the only fourth grader who knew how to write BASIC equations. But unlike my uncle, I didn’t see why having a computer in the den was anything to get excited about other than playing video games. For me, the computer was a curio and nothing more.

That summer I flew with my mother to Pennsylvania to visit relatives for a month. For shits and grins, a cousin and I took a two-week children’s workshop in art sponsored by a local college. Right away, our teacher was handsome and I swooned hard enough that I could not pay attention in class. Eventually, I returned to earth and he soon kindled in me an interest in art and photography, which led me to a bookstore where I nagged my mom to buy me a half-dozen art books. She made me choose two and put the rest back. While I did, I bumped into a handsome boy carrying a computer book that featured the Amiga sitting back home.

“I have that computer.”


“Oh yes. My uncle works for a computer company. He knows all about computers.”

It was a real turn-on to see how much I’d impressed that boy as I bragged about my uncle. I may have had my first orgasm while I boasted that he was developing a platform for hypertext. Wow!

Bobby and I exchanged names, addresses and phone numbers. And I left that bookstore with wet pants and two books about computers that would change my life forever.

Back home in California, my school was slow at jumping on my computer-crazed bandwagon, so I nagged my uncle to teach me everything he knew about computers. He didn’t, of course. I mean, after all, who wants to talk about work when they’re visiting their sister for some R and R? But I was persistent, so he hooked us to a Modem and introduced me to Usenet. From other users, I learned more about computers every day while I visited the “Big 8” worldwide newsgroups from 6pm to 8pm. It was there that I discovered alt.binaries and a world of illegally distributed commercial software, copyrighted media, and obscene material easily accessible to my preteen fingers and eyes.

Wow! … and uh-oh! But it was exciting, all the same.

I was 12 when weekends alone in the house and on the computer became my life. I wrote porn, masturbated, and discovered cybersex. Then my mother caught me and monitored all my computer activity. But I continued to write and watch porn in private and at friends’ houses, and I lived two cyber lives: the good girl who only used the computer at home to do homework, and the cyber vixen who, along with other girls, practiced safe sex on the Internet.

Whichever side of the issue you stand, I’m pretty sure I remained a real-life virgin much longer than if my uncle had chosen a different career.

So, in celebration of this special month, let me get undressed, get comfortable on my bed, open this laptop and…

Lola's Writing, My Tangerine Days


My dad was the second child born to his parents. My mom was the second of four children born to her parents. And I was the second child born to my parents.

Daddy graduated high school and enlisted right away as a signalman in the US Navy. Mom graduated high school 5 years later and worked as a cashier at Sears until she married my dad 2 years later. They met at a dance club while Daddy was on a 2-week leave.

Their first child, my brother, was born on a Tuesday at 2:22 a.m. The day he was born was the 2nd day of the month. I came 2 years later on the 22nd day of November. I lived with my family in Norfolk, Virginia for 2 years before we moved to Italy. We moved to San Diego, California 6 years later on the 22nd day of the 2nd month of the year.

Daddy died 2 years later when he was victim to a multiple-vehicular accident. My brother died a year later when a drunk driver ran a light and T-boned the car he was in. This happened January 22nd. The driver who killed him was 22 years old.

Later, I went to 2 colleges. I dropped out of the first college during my 2nd year.

I married a man who is the 2nd child in his family. He was the 2nd guy to ever propose to me.

Our only daughter was our 2nd child. She has 2 brothers.

What does all this mean? Probably nothing. Just an observation I had this morning at 2 a.m.