The Art

Elsie Gee Cartoons

I took a “Drawing Cartoons” class when I was a kid because I used to draw them in my school notebooks when I was supposed to be paying attention to my teachers. I was a big daydreamer. Luckily, ADD wasn’t a big social issue then, so I was able to adjust on my own without Big Pharma drugging the life out of me.

Still, habits can be hard to break. I doodled in my college notebooks, too.

Elsie Gee was a character born in my college notebooks, a spirited girl who got her name from my initials LCG. I copied the drawing style of one of my art teachers because I’m terrible drawing hands. His philosophy was “Keep It Simple.” It worked.

The three panels here are my favorites. They reveal the young woman I was… and my dependency on tracing paper, lol!


My Tangerine Days, The Photos

Going My Way?

Sometimes you never know who—or what—you’re going to meet on the road.

Lola's Writing, My Tangerine Days

122 Spam Messages

I finished unpacking our last box today and had to be convinced by my husband to stop moving things around for now, that I am becoming a fussy decorator and I need to relax and take care of myself. He is so right, as usual.

Finally, our move from Hawaii to the UK is done! I slept like a rock—almost 12 hours last night, and I awoke feeling refreshed for the first time since our move to Leeds. I actually pirouetted in my upstairs hall, which was possible because I no longer feel disoriented by the time difference.

After a hearty breakfast at 1PM, I turned on my laptop for the first time in days and came here to post this update. I was surprised to see I had 122 spam messages. Most were from the same site with different authors saying they were glad to have found my site, that I gave them excellent advice (me? really?), that my news was good, and that my site was easy to find, though one said my color was off and another said my site needed to be re-sized. I wanted to reply that jet lag caused my color problem and that once I got used to the local cuisine my size would correct itself. My husband talked me out of it. Darn!

One of our favorite messages from the bunch was:

An attention-grabbing dialogue is value comment. I feel that it is best to write extra on this subject, it won’t be a taboo topic but typically people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers.

Then there was this commercial for the elderly wishing to travel:

Thanks for your write-up on the vacation industry. I’d personally also like contribute that if you’re a senior thinking of traveling, it’s absolutely crucial to buy travel cover for elderly people. When traveling, older persons are at greatest risk being in need of a professional medical emergency. Obtaining the right insurance policies package in your age group can look after your health and provide you with peace of mind.

Almost all of them made my husband and I laugh, but this next and final one sounded too honest to be spam:

Hello, you used to write great, but the last few posts have been kinda boring… I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a little bit out of track! come on! “To be content with what one has is the greatest and truest of riches.” by Cicero.

I liked the quote attributed to Cicero, for I do feel contented, but Wikiquote claims someone fabricated it and attributed the quote to Cicero in the 1980s. All the same, I’m stealing it for my Facebook page—unattributed to Cicero, of course.

As soon as I post this, I will delete those 122 messages, but with some regret. After all, I have never received that many messages (spam or otherwise) until now. Is that a WordPress record? I wonder.

My Tangerine Days, The Photos

Highland Guardian

This adorable rubber creature was chosen to watch over the countryside.

LolaCandi, The Poems


You’re so big—
the internet made you huge

We decipher your candy whining at your blog every day—
we’re some of your best teased hairfriends at your facebook

We know your TV faves
movie faves
favorite faves
and all your playlists

You like short shorts, bikini jeans, and certain days wrapped in Jamawar

You love McDonalds sweet tea
smoking weed
teen romances
mean mosh dances, crushes, slushes, fireworks, and ferris wheels

We love that you’re an internet cannibal
snapping off pictures of yourself in front of your big mirrors
singing how you’re so famous and how we’re so far far far up your anus—
and we are
because you’re so big … so huge … so fucking tremendous
and delicious
we eat you up 24/7—

We love that you like sleeping in after late nights and breakdowns
and that you wear Lola & Coco by La Senza and go on long car rides in 3D…
or something like that!

The internet made your t&a tremendously huge
so if you break it
your posse is big enough to put it all back together tomorrow
so you can do it all over again for your paparazzi
and us


Lola's Writing, LolaCandi


Let’s talk more about Boobs.

Ah, Boobs, those two soft fleshy glandular organs on a woman’s chest that form an eye-catching groove of separation called Cleavage!

Yes, Cleavage! Every girl should have Cleavage! Whether you’re looking to make your small breasts appear to have more Cleavage, or you want to make your large breasts provide a shapelier and natural Cleavage, choosing the right bra can help!

For tiny tits, a bra with extra padding that squeezes and pushes your Boobs together forms—OMG! Cleavage!

Most of us gals have tiny tits until we get pregnant. Then WHAM! Mother Nature fattens them up. If that hasn’t happened to you yet, wear a bra that is too big and use silicone inserts or padding that contains air, gel or water in your bra. These feel-good supports will lift and squeeze your Boobs until—OMG! Look at that Cleavage!

The boys are coming around now. But before they get here, use a little makeup between your Boobs to help add to the illusion of increased Cleavage. Gently brush a little bronzer between your Boobs, coupled with a contrasting white powder at the tops of your Boobs. Now couple that with a tight-fitting top, or one with a plunging neckline, in order to show off your newly enhanced Cleavage. Voila! You’re slutty—I mean vivacious—enough to have your picture on the cover of In Touch magazine!

Now go out there girl! And don’t forget to lean over some. But not too far! No nipple slips. Not yet. Make sure everyone has a good buzz going first. Then find some good lighting and show off that Cleavage! It’s what we girls do best, when we know how.



Lola's Writing, LolaCandi


I watched a TV sit-com show the other night, and the guy asked his girlfriend if having boobs was weird. I went OMG, because one time a guy asked me the very same thing. And I said “Yes. Having boobs is weird.” I mean, come on, they’re fundamentally milk sacs to feed babies. After that, they’re merely ornaments … up-front conversation pieces both dudes and chicks use to compare and contrast other boobs with.

Boobs grow in all shapes and sizes. Shape and size are important aspects to the connoisseur of teats. So are size, contour, texture, and their age. Young boobs are more valuable than older boobs. Young, perky boobs sell products.

Boobs are really out there in the advertising world. Just look around! And we all look, whether we admit it or not. You know you peek at them inside low-cut blouses and look for pokies in tee shirts and even cheer on their owners at wet tee-shirt parties. We even pay money to see them undressed.

Photos of boobs are collectibles. College dorm rooms have them as part of the decor. My old boyfriend took hundreds of pictures of my boobs and blew up their size on an old Xerox machine. He painted all sorts of pictures of them. They were like Monet’s famous haystacks.

When I lived in some European countries, there were places that allowed my boobs to hang out and soak up the sun and fresh air. But back in the USA I have to keep my milk sacs covered when I’m in public. It’s crazy how uptight the USA is. Sometimes, I want to strip off my bra and let the whole world see mine and say, “They’re only boobs.” But that would send me off to jail in this fundamentally-Christian-but-not-really-all-that-Christian country. Maybe my boobs could get me out of jail too. I’m sure they could. And that is so weird.